Just keep lifting, just keep lifting...

I have really enjoyed the first 8 weeks of strength. I needed to put forth a legitimate effort and truly try to gain strength. I did Crossfit for a long time hoping to get stronger, but I never actually tried. I get really scared when there is a lot of weight on the bar; I get anxious as soon as I see what the WOD is; I convince myself I can't do it before I even attempt. My goal for the previous 8 weeks has been to change that, to some extent. I still get nervous before a workout, but I don't talk myself out of it. I use that anxiety and turn it into motivation. I decide I want to prove I can move that weight, get 1 more rep, etc. I am still working on not talking myself out of a lift before I attempt it, though. I really don't like to fail and going for a new PR is scary.

The next strength cycle is going to kick my ass and truly bring to light my weaknesses. I will have to decide, every day, that this is something I want to do. I am doing this for me; it's a choice I have made and continue to make every time I step foot in the gym. I want to bring my weaknesses to the forefront so I can make them strengths. I want to give my self something new to strive for.

It sucks that the new strength cycle started on one of my lowest weeks. I am not sure why, but all of a sudden, I was lethargic, angry, and disappointed in myself. Light weight felt super heavy and I convinced myself often not to go to the gym. I am letting the ugly voices in my head talk me out of things I know I can do.

Then, I read an article, What Will You Do Today, by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig and it was exactly what I needed to see. I need to stop all the negative talk that's in my brain; I need to reassure myself that my goals are MY goals. My goals are not based off of what anyone else can do, but they are based solely on becoming stronger, faster, better than I was yesterday. This is going to take as much, if not more, effort than getting my ass to the gym, but I need to learn to think about myself in a positive light. To start myself off on the right foot: I got a PR on Fran today! It wasn't exactly how I thought I'd do, but a PR is a PR and I am damn happy about that. It's a great start to my new mindset and the weekend.

Happy Friday!