Motivation

One of my biggest struggles when working out, training or otherwise, is a lack of motivation. I don't really set goals and I don't have a driving force. I know I am never going to be as strong as Annie T, as fast as Kristan C, or look as good in a sports bra and shorty shorts as Camille L-B. One of the first things Mike asked me was why I wanted to do this; I didn't have an answer. At first, I didn't think that was a big deal. I want to work out to not be fat and want to strive for something. However, the more I think about it, the more concerned I am that I don't have an answer. I don't know why I am putting myself through this (shit) for 12 months.

I am excited about it. I want to not be a fat ass. I want to achieve something I crapped out on previously in my life.  I want to be in fantastic shape (and be 95% Paleo) when I get pregnant, whenever that may be. Those are true, but none are actual motivating factors. Those things are easily overlooked when my alarm is going off at 5am so I can get up, get the dog out, and to the gym by 6.

Somehow, I have overcome that for the last 2 weeks. I know 2 weeks isn't much, but it's more waking up at 5 than I've done, I believe, my whole life. The more strength I do, the more I realize how much room I have for improvement. I realize how much better so many things in my life are when I am active.When I try and "train" on my own, I half ass workouts and end up talking myself out of going 4 days a week, my unearned rest days; when I am in a gym with people expecting me to show up and do relatively well, I go. It's surprising how much better a workout can make a day.

So, Mr. Brownfield, I figured out what my motivational factors are. Unfortunately, they cannot be measured or put on the whiteboard. I want to do this so I continually work out to improve my quality of life, improve the quality of life for those around me, and improve the lives of my future children.

I had the realization that I don't need to be the strongest or the fastest right now. I have plenty of room and time for improvement. If I fall short, at least I tried. This is something I want to do for me.